Downward tilting toilets

BREAKING NEWS: Say goodbye to comfort breaks! New downward-tilting toilets are designed to become unbearable to sit on after five minutes. They say the main benefit is to employees in improved employee productivity. pic.twitter.com/lfDbeXJdCX

— Dave Vescio (@DaveVescio) December 17, 2019

Locally, a much cheaper alternative (that would accomplish the same goal of increased worker productivity) would be to place the Monday edition of the Wheeling Intelligencer in each stall.

Impeachment

Republicans tell us that Democrats have wanted to impeach Trump since the day he was elected

On the other hand, here's Vanity Fair's political reporter a couple of days before the 2016 presidential election:

With the latest polls showing Hillary Clinton remains likely to win the election on Tuesday, Republicans are preparing for the possibility of a second Clinton White House by promising to make the next four years a living hell. Some lawmakers are talking openly about refusing to approve any Supreme Court nominees until a Republican is elected president, the F.B.I. is investigating both the Clinton Foundation and the former secretary of state’s use of a private e-mail server, and House Republicans have vowed to launch additional investigations of their own. Now, a growing number of conservatives are warning that there could be a “constitutional crisis” if Clinton is elected, and threatening her with impeachment.

It's all part of the Democrat's Master Plan

From CNN reporter, Brian Karem:

Not from the Onion but from a WH source - "Hillary Clinton purposely lost the election with the aid of Russian hacking so the Democrats could then impeach Trump"

— Brian J. Karem (@BrianKarem) December 18, 2019

Republican representative compares Trump to Jesus

GOP Rep. Barry Loundermilk claims "Pontius Pilate afforded more rights to Jesus than the Democrats have afforded this president."

Chairman Nadler: "The president was given the opportunity to come and testify...he declined to do so." https://t.co/VClVwnzV8G pic.twitter.com/esMT2iGZmv

— ABC News (@ABC) December 18, 2019

Finally, something to seriously ponder

On the occasion of his birthday, I want to say that I’m increasingly worried about what kind of world we’re going to leave to Keith Richards.

— Olivier Knox (@OKnox) December 18, 2019